Enlightenment

I'm very passionate about natural birth. If you find this offensive, you may want to skip this post. My dear friend recently posted her feelings about birth on her blog. I thought I should do the same. I also wanted to resurrect her post, since it was such a good one.

I was recently able to spend some time with this dear friend who shares my views on natural childbirth, and while we were talking, I said, "Wow, ten years ago, I never would've thought that I'd be able to say I've had two natural births with a midwife as my birth attendant." She said the same thing, and we each talked about how we'd become enlightened. This is how it happened for me.

My mom set the foundation decades ago when she birthed all eight of us without drugs. She also conveyed to us that birth was a normal event and a natural body process. I never heard horror stories about pain and complications. It was actually quite funny to hear about our births because my mom preferred to labor mostly at home because "as soon as you get to the hospital, they want to stick a bunch of needles in you"--she'd wait until the last possible minute to check in at the hospital, and a few of us were almost born en route to the hospital, and a few more were born just a few minutes after she arrived. My mom wasn't one of those ladies who writhed and screamed during contractions--she calmly went about her day. And I thought, "Well, if she can do it, I can do it," and I always had in my mind that I would birth naturally.

About seven years ago I had two co-workers whose wives had birthed with midwives. I was especially intrigued by Will and Melissa's experience because their first baby had been born in the hospital with an OB and the standard interventions and the whole thing had been quite negative, so they chose a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) and the Bradley method for their second (and third and fourth). The difference was night and day. I enjoyed hearing how positive they were about natural birth and midwives and decided to look into finding a midwife should I ever get married and have a baby.

My sister Karen got married and had kids before I did. When she was pregnant with her first, she looked into different childbirth methods and discovered HypnoBirthing. She had a really positive experience with HypnoBirthing (and to this day applies it to regular life and not just birthing), which got me interested in it. I suppose I would've thought the hypnosis part was kind of kooky if it hadn't been my sister telling me about it, but I knew that my sister had good judgement, so I wasn't at all weirded out about the hypnosis. I came to realize that hypnosis for birthing is simply a way of focusing your mind so that your body can maximize the effect of each surge (that's what we call a contraction in HypnoBirthing).

The aforementioned factors all led to the two AWESOME experiences D and I have had with the births of our babies. I was able to look forward to birth with a calm and peaceful attitude--and I'm not just talking about having the baby in my arms. I looked forward to my body performing the labor and birth that would get my baby into my arms. I didn't fear pain or complications. I believed things would go well. And indeed, it was wonderful, and having a birth companion who supported me and helped me was paramount to me feeling so satisfied about how labor and birth went. Using the HypnoBirthing method and having a midwife as our birth attendant were also key factors.

What is it like to have a midwife? First, the midwife philosophy is that birth is a normal and natural body process. Every birth is different, therefore midwives are willing to sit back and let a woman's body dictate the pace of labor and birth. My first labor was very long, and when I finally checked in at the hospital after being in labor for over 50 hours, I told my midwife Claudia that I had come to the hospital after 25 hours and my cervix was open 1/2 cm. Thankfully, they gave me a shot to help me sleep and sent me home. Twenty-five hours later, I went back to the hospital, and this time my cervix was open 1 cm. (At this point I was getting worn out and was starting to doubt my body's abilities just a tiny bit.) Her response was, "How rude! After all that work, they told you you're only open 1 cm!" She told me I was doing fine. I never heard a word about having to ramp things up with pitocin or having to rupture the amniotic sac. After ensuring that the baby's heart rate was fine and that my body was handling labor just fine, she told me I could decide when I wanted to be checked. When the nurses came in every half hour to get the mandatory read on the fetal monitor, she made sure they didn't keep it on too long and let me get back to the labor tub or sitting on the birth ball as quickly as possible. She offered to fill in for D if he got tired (he was a trooper; he stayed with me the whole time!). Claudia offered me a priceless treasure--trust in my body. She didn't DO anything to "manage" my labor. She was there as a support and a resource. She told me to follow my body's instincts, which I did. I changed positions when I wanted to; I followed my own body's urge to push, rather than a roomful of "coaching" medical folk. And, WOW, what a rush to give birth that way!! The thrill of finishing a marathon or cliff jumping or hiking to the top of the rainforest canopy don't even compare to the exhilaration I felt at having my mind, body and spirit completely aware, completely in sync, and completely present for birth. I neither wanted nor needed pain medication. The self-confidence I gained from working (and believe me, it was hard work) to achieve my goal of natural birth is priceless, and it's something a woman can't get from an ordinary birth. Then again, ordinary is no thrill for me--I prefer extraordinary.

So we'd had this awesome birth with Squeak, and my thought was, "Why doesn't everyone give birth this way?" I became certified as a HypnoBirthing instructor so I could spread the good word to other expectant parents, and we decided that having a midwife was the way to go. I actually didn't meet my midwife for Pip until two days before he was born. I made a last-minute switch to Ellen because only a doctor (whose ideas about birth I do not embrace) from the midwife group I'd been going to was on call. Like Claudia, Ellen also reviewed my birth plan and told me she agreed with everything on it. She was true to her word. I had no doubt that labor and birth would again be a positive experience. I again labored mostly at home and checked in at the hospital after around 18 hours of labor. Ellen was so hands-off, I felt like I was having a home birth! She convinced the nurses to leave me alone (no intermittent fetal monitoring, no checking my cervix, no checking my vitals) for hours. Nobody even came into the room unless I called. She told me (just as Claudia had) that she'd check my cervix only if and when I wanted her to. She even said that after the initial check, I didn't need to be checked at all. D and I were left alone--what a remarkable thing! I again used the birth ball, the jetted tub, the birthing stool that D made for me, and the relaxation, visualization, and breathing techniques I had learned from HypnoBirthing. Labor progressed naturally with my body dictating the pace. Ellen also expressed a lot of confidence in my body--when I told her I felt like Pip was about to arrive and asked her to check me to see if my cervix was completely open, she said, "I don't have to check you. If you feel like you're ready, you're ready." Wow, talk about trusting a mother's instincts! She was there as a support and resource if I needed her. She told me to birth in whatever position felt the most comfortable. I wanted to try the birthing stool, so she sat on the floor in front of me. I ended up switching at the last minute, but here's the point-- I gave birth the way my body chose to. D caught Pip. I had absolutely no tearing, and Pip was breastfeeding less than five minutes after emerging. His arrival, like his sister's, was so peaceful, so serene. The lights in the room were dim, the voices of the few people present were subdued, and the standard newborn procedures were put off until D and I had spent time (more than an hour both times) bonding with our new baby so fresh from Heaven.

And so it was... The experiences of others led me to my own enlightenment about birth. I'm so grateful! I only know a handful (well, maybe two handfuls since I married into the right family--all my sisters-in-law are proponents of natural birth) of people who have had the kind of birth experiences that D and I have had. Most women are physically able to give birth this way (I will say that medical intervention is a great blessing and should be used for the small percentage of women who need it) but choose not to for reasons I do not understand. I have experienced many exciting things in my life, but nothing as empowering as natural birth. That feeling, and the peace of birth without intervention, is the good news I want to share with women everywhere.