A lady I won't forget

Two summers ago, money was tight--we were on a student budget. It is hard for most people to understand exactly what that means, even if they've been on a student budget. Unless they've done the D&T student budget plan. Just to give a little bit of perspective, we whittled our spending down to just basic needs--food, shelter, and transportation. After rent and utilities were paid, we had about $200 for our family per month, which we used to buy food and personal/household items, pay for car insurance and gas, and purchase any other needs. We didn't spend money on clothes, shoes, furniture, entertainment, or any other luxuries--and we gratefully accepted hand-me-downs from others. I'm not kidding when I say that I deliberated over every dollar I spent. And I will always be grateful that the Lord blessed us with all of our needs and many of our wants.

I knew that there was no way to further decrease our spending. D agreed. Unless we moved. We could move to a safe place and save a few hundred dollars per month--but we'd have to move out of state. So, for a variety of reasons (only one of which was financial), we moved for D's last year of med school. Moving does cost money, though. So almost two years ago, we were at the end of our funds (we took out a new loan for living expenses every six months). We had just moved, we had just paid $1000 for maternity insurance for me, and we had just purchased tickets (over $2200) so D could do a foreign medical rotation (and we could visit his parents) in Colombia.

We had a need--a stroller. I had a stroller for Squeak, and up to that point, I had been carrying 17-month-old Pip in a backpack, but I was 7 1/2 months pregnant. If you've been there, you know what I mean. I needed something compact but sturdy enough to make the trip and handle the Colombian sidewalks (if you've been there, you know what I mean!)--so a $10 umbrella stroller wouldn't work. I looked on Craigslist and KSL classifieds incessantly, trying to find a suitable option.

Miraculously, I found a Chicco umbrella stroller--perfect! And it was only $25!! I called the lady and she said it was practically unused--just occasionally for her granddaughter during visits. I was very excited, but also uneasy about driving 3 hours round-trip from Provo to Ogden to pick it up. The A/C in our car was broken (fixing it was a luxury we couldn't afford at the time), I was pregnant and hot (yesssss!), and it was July. Oh, yeah, and my kids don't do well in the car for more than about half an hour. I asked if she was ever closer to Provo (maybe meet in Salt Lake?) and she said she was planning to visit a relative in Provo that weekend and she'd be happy to bring it down. She even insisted on dropping it off at my house!

We had agreed on a meeting time for Friday morning. I took the kids for a little run that day, arranging to be back before she arrived, but just in case, I left a note on the door saying I'd be right back. When I returned from my run a few minutes early, I discovered that she had also arrived early. She'd left the stroller on my front porch with a note: "Free, with my regards." Her name was Pam. I rushed into the house, called the number I had for her, got her voice mail, left a message and told her thank you, and I'd be happy to mail her the money. I never heard back from her. I tried calling again, but she never returned my calls. When I told my mother-in-law about the miracle of our stroller and how much I'd like to pay Pam for it, she said, "Maybe she doesn't want your money. Maybe she wants to do an anonymous act of service." Two years later, I still cry as I remember her kindness. How did she know that we were so in need? I got my answer when I read this post about Pam on our cousin's blog. She was just one of those angels who goes about doing good. I never got to meet her in person, but I will never forget her.

I look totally awesome in this photo (we woke up at 3:30 a.m. to catch our flight), but here's Pam's stroller (the blue one)

A true disciple

My mom and dad have five sons and three daughters. They have always taught us to love and serve other people, to have integrity, to work hard, and to make God and Jesus Christ our top priority. I have watched them live these ideals my whole life. Sometimes their choices or priorities were not popular, but my parents have always been "steadfast and immovable"--they know what is most important--the ultimate goal of this mortal experience--to live with God again, together as a family. That example is a great blessing to me.

My dad left his career behind for "the greater good"--he was called by the Lord to preside over 200+ missionaries in the Chile Santiago North Mission. He was there for three years, teaching and loving people so that his fellow man could come to know the Savior. He was in heaven, and when our family's time in Chile came to an end, we were all sad. Ten years later, he was called to Chile once again, this time to preside over the Missionary Training Center. I will never forget his exuberance as he was leaving. Squeak asked why he was going on the airplane and he said with excitement, "I'm going on a mission!" He is in heaven once again. My parents spend from sunup to sundown training new missionaries about life and the gospel. They have a half-day off every three weeks--just enough time for a long nap to catch up on lost sleep. No holidays, no vacations--the work must go on. This is true commitment.

Next week my family will gather to attend my brother's marriage. My dad can't come--the President cannot leave his mission. My heart aches to think of him missing this happy event--it won't be the first time either. He missed my other brother's wedding during his first time as President. My dad is a true disciple of Jesus Christ--he has put aside his personal desires to show the Lord his commitment. We will miss you, Dad! Thank you for showing all of us how to follow Christ.

My dad with baby Squeak 2006

Lydia

Phew! Life can be exciting sometimes!! There's something about 9 cases of pink eye, 3 cases of stomach flu, 9 ear infections, and about two dozen coughs/colds all in our little happy family since October that make this mama wish for a different kind of excitement. I'm still working on my moving post, but it's a long one, and my inspiration is lacking. So here's a little bit about someone inspiring...

D and I signed up to help clean the Detroit LDS temple a few months back. We were happy to be helping to beautify such a peaceful place. The catch: no kids allowed of course. I tried asking around to see if I could trade kids with another family doing the same thing. Unfortunately, this was impossible because all three of our munchkins were sick, and who wants to invite sick kids over to play with your healthy kids? And then smiling, beautiful Lydia approached me at church, "I'll watch your kids on Tuesday!" I replied, "Thanks so much, but they're all sick. I can't do that to you." "Oh, I love sick kids!" she said. And she meant it. "Oh, but my baby is especially fussy. She's really clingy anyway, but it's even worse since she's not feeling well." Lydia said, "Fussy babies are my specialty! I love them!" She was not kidding. So it was arranged--we would drive over to Lydia's place, drop off our kids, and spend a few hours cleaning the temple. I was so grateful for her kindness, and I felt like I was leaving my precious babies in good hands.

When we returned to Lydia's after our wonderful time at the temple, something dawned on me, and I've been thinking about it ever since that day. Lydia is exactly the type of mom I saw myself being before I became a mother. Her five kids were lounging all over the family room when we walked in. They were talking and laughing and playing. A bowl of mostly-consumed popcorn had spilled on the floor. The dog was lying in it. Games and toys were strewn all over the place. Her five-year-old walked on the furniture. Lydia was in the kitchen making gingerbread sleighs talking to her teenage daughters, laughing and connecting. Everyone was comfortable, relaxed, and happy. Nobody was bothered by the mess. Our kids were in heaven (even my fussy baby!). D and I stayed for a long time. I felt so comfortable, I didn't want to leave.

I'm a fun mom, I know I am. I have a hard time disciplining because I'd rather just enjoy my kids. I don't like to be rigid about rules and schedules. I love creativity and chaos. But I get crabby when my house is messy or my kids ignore my requests. My personality is so much like Lydia's, but my reality is that I get too caught up in the details. Why the disconnect? Does anyone at Lydia's care that the baseboards haven't been cleaned or that the beds go unmade? All of us there felt at home. Actually the same feeling D and I felt in the sparkly clean temple. I must confess that I feel bored with myself when I get so entrenched in the details that I forget the fun. Why shouldn't I just leave a mess and run off to the Children's museum or the library or a friend's house with the kids? Straightening up all the time is so tedious! [BTW this has only gotten worse with everyone being sick over and over and not being able to go anywhere...we're relegated to sitting around the house, and if we're here, we might as well clean!] Oh, but I love having a clean house!! And I love having fun!!! How can I have it all?? It's time for me to learn more about this amazing Lydia and how she arrived at her comfortable and joyful destination.