My kids teach me many things, but the lessons that make me cry are the best ones. In February we (the kids and I) took a little trip to Utah. We got a screaming deal on tickets and D was working horrendous hours--it was a great time to be gone. I made the mistake of snapping some photos on the plane--because I ended up leaving my camera there. I didn't realize until the next day, and although I called the Southwest office in Salt Lake incessantly, nobody picked up. I tried again the next day. Somebody finally answered, and I gave her the description of the camera and the flight number and time, and she said, "After 24 hours, any lost and found items are sent to corporate in Texas." Ugh!
I called the Texas office and gave a detailed description, saying that the camera wasn't worth a whole lot. Just a crappy digital point and shoot camera in a breastmilk storage bag with a few batteries. All I wanted back was the memory card.
I was in agony because before the trip, I stupidly neglected to download the photos. Aside from a few Halloween photos, I hadn't downloaded anything for over five months--autumn, Christmas, playing in the snow, Pip's birthday--it was all gone. I was really broken up about it. I told the kids and we started praying that somehow we would get our camera back. We mentioned it in every prayer.
Nothing turned up for the 10 days I was gone, and I called Southwest corporate again when we returned to Michigan. They said sometimes it could take up to a few weeks. Well, the weeks went by, and we kept praying, but still no news of our camera. I was really starting to lose hope. The kids still mentioned it in prayers, especially Pip. A month passed, and then two. Our camera was gone, and with it all those precious photos. I mourned their loss and the fact that I could never visually review those memories.
Then one day, I found a box on the front porch. I wasn't expecting a package--what could it be? Suddenly I saw "Southwest Airlines" tape on it. I burst into tears and thought, "Really? Could it be?" I tore open the box and behold! The black Similac bag with our camera inside, and inside that, the memory card that held a record of our lives the past half year. Oh, how I wept for joy! And then I realized that, although I had lost hope of ever getting our camera back, my kids had not. Pip had mentioned the camera in every prayer. It had never even occurred to him that we might not find it. When I told them through my tears that our camera was found, they just looked at me as if to say, "Well, of course it was. We prayed about it, didn't we?" Behold, the faith of a child!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
April Foolishness around here
April 1 was a great day at our place. I woke up, went running on the treadmill, and started wasting time on the computer. When I finally decided to get the kids up, I was amazed at what I discovered as I opened the door to Pip and Squeak's room:
What a funny joke! Except that it wasn't a joke at all. You know those tiny crystals inside disposable diapers? The entire room--floor, crib, bed, bedding--was covered with those things. Squeak had taken off her night diaper and was flinging it around (from her bed, because she's not allowed off her bed without permission). Then she and Pip started throwing it back and forth. Ew!
I had to hold back the laughter. I was really glad it wasn't vomit, because that's what I thought it was when I opened the door. I'm all about kids being accountable for their actions, so she had to clean it up. But I had to supervise. It took an hour.
Then Pip ?dropped?threw?flung? his cereal and milk on the floor at breakfast. He had to clean that up. But I had to supervise. That took half an hour. And Squirt was happily eating the remnants off the floor as Pip was cleaning.
I was behind schedule, because I had a little April Fools plan of my own. We headed out, Pip and Squeak in the double stroller and Squirt in the backpack, to D's work. The kids asked what we were doing. I said, "Today's a day for jokes! We're taking the car, and when Dada gets out of work, he won't know where it is!" I should also mention that the Suburban hadn't been working all week (D has fixed it since then), so we were down to one car.
I waited and waited for D to call when his shift ended (somewhere between 8 and 9 p.m.). He finally called and said,
D: "Uh... did you take the car?"
T: "No. What's up?"
D: "It's gone."
T: "You're joking, right?"
D: "I wish I were."
T: "Did you maybe forget where you parked?"
D: "I've walked through the whole parking lot."
T: "Why would someone steal our car?"
D: "This sucks. Insurance on the car won't cover theft."
T: "What are we going to do? Should I call someone and ask for a ride for you?"
At some point, D's friend Haidar comes outside and D says, "Dude, my car's gone." and they talk about it for a bit. I had thought about dragging the joke out a little longer, but D seemed really distressed...
T: "Babe! April fools!!!"
D: "No, I'm not joking. The car's gone!"
T: "No, babe, I have the car! April fools!!"
So he told Haidar, "My wife says, "April fools," and then I heard Haidar's boisterous laugh go on and on. "Props to your wife, man," he said. Oh, it was soooooo good! I love a good April fools joke!
What a funny joke! Except that it wasn't a joke at all. You know those tiny crystals inside disposable diapers? The entire room--floor, crib, bed, bedding--was covered with those things. Squeak had taken off her night diaper and was flinging it around (from her bed, because she's not allowed off her bed without permission). Then she and Pip started throwing it back and forth. Ew!
I had to hold back the laughter. I was really glad it wasn't vomit, because that's what I thought it was when I opened the door. I'm all about kids being accountable for their actions, so she had to clean it up. But I had to supervise. It took an hour.
Then Pip ?dropped?threw?flung? his cereal and milk on the floor at breakfast. He had to clean that up. But I had to supervise. That took half an hour. And Squirt was happily eating the remnants off the floor as Pip was cleaning.
I was behind schedule, because I had a little April Fools plan of my own. We headed out, Pip and Squeak in the double stroller and Squirt in the backpack, to D's work. The kids asked what we were doing. I said, "Today's a day for jokes! We're taking the car, and when Dada gets out of work, he won't know where it is!" I should also mention that the Suburban hadn't been working all week (D has fixed it since then), so we were down to one car.
I waited and waited for D to call when his shift ended (somewhere between 8 and 9 p.m.). He finally called and said,
D: "Uh... did you take the car?"
T: "No. What's up?"
D: "It's gone."
T: "You're joking, right?"
D: "I wish I were."
T: "Did you maybe forget where you parked?"
D: "I've walked through the whole parking lot."
T: "Why would someone steal our car?"
D: "This sucks. Insurance on the car won't cover theft."
T: "What are we going to do? Should I call someone and ask for a ride for you?"
At some point, D's friend Haidar comes outside and D says, "Dude, my car's gone." and they talk about it for a bit. I had thought about dragging the joke out a little longer, but D seemed really distressed...
T: "Babe! April fools!!!"
D: "No, I'm not joking. The car's gone!"
T: "No, babe, I have the car! April fools!!"
So he told Haidar, "My wife says, "April fools," and then I heard Haidar's boisterous laugh go on and on. "Props to your wife, man," he said. Oh, it was soooooo good! I love a good April fools joke!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Moving 612
I started typing this post over two months ago and started it in my head months before that. I need to move on to more projects! But I wanted to get it all down so I'll remember for next time.
Now that we've purchased our house, I feel like our move is complete (almost EIGHT MONTHS after it began!) so now I'm ready to write the "Do's and Don't's" of this move. Whew, all the new found knowledge! The knowledge I acquired and shared for my first moving post was for a move that was more like a Moving 101 course, but I really feel like the this last move was more of a graduate level course, so here we go, Moving 612.
I have asked myself many times if I am the victim of circumstance or am I really the reason that things are sometimes so hard , i.e. have I been placed on this difficult path and I'm just doing the best I can, or have I chosen the longest, most difficult road to get to my destination? Well, whatever the answer, I've learned that the human spirit, at least this human spirit, is resilient.
If I were watching the tale of this move unfold, it would seem a comedy. Looking back, it is almost unbelievable how everything played out--if I had not lived it, I would have a hard time believing it. We loaded everything in a trailer and drove out in two cars, packed to the gills, and arrived three days before D was supposed to begin residency. No place to live, didn't know a soul in town, and we just kind of hoped that things would go smoothly and that we'd get a short-term lease somewhere, unpack the basics, and buy a house in the next six months and really settle down. We were certain that with the depressed economy in Detroit, it would be easy to find a suitable place to rest our weary selves for a bit. Well, not only was it impossible to find a rental contract for under a year, but rental prices were quite high--$1200 or more for a 3 bed/2 bath house with a yard. This was despite the fact that real estate prices for purchasing the same size house were around $100,000. Nothing made sense, and it seemed that our path was blocked at every turn.
Do sell and Re-buy: We loved this last time; we loved it even more this time. We sold more of our stuff this time and we were able to fit our whole family of five's stuff into about 600 cubic feet of space. We sold our kitchen table and chairs, dressers, bookshelves, desk, couches... When we started with Plan A, we were going to use Upack, and I figured it would cost us about $2.50 per cubic foot to transport stuff. So it just wasn't worth keeping a large item like a couch which would take up around 40 cubic feet of space and cost us $100 just to move. We weren't really attached to our furniture so it was easy to leave it all behind. We started selling early and found buyers for almost everything and gave away the last few things.
Do show up in town and start looking for a place to live. We didn't want to do things that way (originally planned to fly D out ahead of time to find a place), but we had to, and we later realized that he couldn't have found anything quickly so the trip would have been wasted money and time. Do give yourself more than two days to find a place though--that was our mistake (also not the original plan, but as the "don'ts" will show, all these extra things kept pushing our departure date back).
If you do have to stay in a hotel for an extended period of time, do choose the Novi Courtyard Marriott. We happened to fall into that one (D did Priceline and we lucked out with them), and the manager and staff were so nice to us! D made friends with the manager who gave us an amazing deal and even let us move to a suite for the same price.
This is how I fed the kids every morning in the hotel: I buckled them into their boosters sitting on top of a sheet, brought out the milk from the cooler and oatmeal and raisins and let them eat oatmeal in a cup with a spoon. Lunch was similar, with bread and lunch meat and cheese from the cooler. Dinner, I'm embarrassed to say, was usually at a fast food drive through. Three weeks of this. We really were climbing the walls!!
Do call anyone and everyone to give you leads on a place to live. We scoured Craigslist (no luck there) and used the Mormon network (contacted probably a dozen people from three different congregations) and friends and family of friends network. Ultimately, we found our place because of the wonderful Mormon network.
Do get hooked up with fabulous realtor Michelle Weiderstedt (we found her through the family of friends network). She has been awesome!
Do be open-minded when Plan A or B or C or P or Q, etc. doesn't work out. We just had to keep trying different options, and folks, I'm here to say that eventually things will work out.
Do pack suitcases for everyone with "transition items"--about five sets of clothes and minimal toiletries for your time on the road and your first little while in the new place.
Squirt enjoys the floatie. Luckily swim stuff was on our list of "transitional items." I took the kids swimming in the hotel every day, which saved our sanity, because D was gone with the car until evening, and I had no way to get out.
Do keep things as simple as possible while everything else is in upheaval. For me, that meant unpacking almost nothing except for the Baby Jogger and the minimal amount of kitchen and bathroom stuff. Sure, I got sick of wearing those same five shirts for six months, but our kids never really felt the instability because we did the things together that we've always enjoyed--going out for daily runs, playing outside, going to the park...they didn't even miss their toys all that time.
Do say no to extra, non-essential rituals or projects. It pained me to use disposable diapers all that time, but cloth diapers were one extra thing, and I couldn't handle anything extra. I said no to canning for the year, as well as gardening, putting pictures on the walls, sewing, ironing (that's a non-essential ritual if there ever was one!!), making bread for the most part, and yard work (aside from mowing). I did start teaching HypnoBirthing classes, but that's one of those things that helps me feel balanced, and in my book, that's essential.
Do pay attention to that special feeling that tells you not to sell your extra car. We had a buyer with cash in hand (actually the same amount we had paid for it four years ago) for our Oldsmobile, and I just didn't feel good about selling it. Although it did not make sense to keep the car, we did. So we had to drive out with two cars (difficult!), but we were so grateful a few days later when the Suburban broke down en route and we had a way to get to the auto store for the parts. Then, a few days after our arrival, we were grateful again when D's residency started and the Suburban broke down again--he had a way to get to work because we had the Oldsmobile. To imagine buying a car on top of all the other stress...no, I don't want to imagine it!
Do be nosy about foreclosure notices that come in the mail. If I hadn't been nosy and spent hours on the phone, our current situation would be a lot less pleasant.
Do get a home inspection done when you're buying. That saved us $10,000.
Do pray mightily that things will work out. We prayed, our families prayed, our friends prayed, and here we are!
Don't have two completely different ideas about the move. I wanted this to be an easy, convenient, organized move. I was OK with paying a little bit of money (not a lot, not like a full-service move, but I didn't want a full-blown do-it-yourself move) for that convenience. D wanted a free move. We could not mesh the two, so one of us had to give in. D got his wish. We are really happy about how things have ended up, but it was a lot of work!!
Now that we've purchased our house, I feel like our move is complete (almost EIGHT MONTHS after it began!) so now I'm ready to write the "Do's and Don't's" of this move. Whew, all the new found knowledge! The knowledge I acquired and shared for my first moving post was for a move that was more like a Moving 101 course, but I really feel like the this last move was more of a graduate level course, so here we go, Moving 612.
We don't know who made us this sign for our trailer, but I loved it!
I have asked myself many times if I am the victim of circumstance or am I really the reason that things are sometimes so hard , i.e. have I been placed on this difficult path and I'm just doing the best I can, or have I chosen the longest, most difficult road to get to my destination? Well, whatever the answer, I've learned that the human spirit, at least this human spirit, is resilient.
If I were watching the tale of this move unfold, it would seem a comedy. Looking back, it is almost unbelievable how everything played out--if I had not lived it, I would have a hard time believing it. We loaded everything in a trailer and drove out in two cars, packed to the gills, and arrived three days before D was supposed to begin residency. No place to live, didn't know a soul in town, and we just kind of hoped that things would go smoothly and that we'd get a short-term lease somewhere, unpack the basics, and buy a house in the next six months and really settle down. We were certain that with the depressed economy in Detroit, it would be easy to find a suitable place to rest our weary selves for a bit. Well, not only was it impossible to find a rental contract for under a year, but rental prices were quite high--$1200 or more for a 3 bed/2 bath house with a yard. This was despite the fact that real estate prices for purchasing the same size house were around $100,000. Nothing made sense, and it seemed that our path was blocked at every turn.
We started out with Plan A and ended up at Plan BB. That's 28 different plans. Good thing that we are flexible and spontaneous people! I have to be honest and say that the adventure and spontaneity of those many months were a challenge. It was one crisis after another, and I constantly felt that everything was completely beyond my control. What I'm saying at the end of the day, though, is that we have been blessed and cared for through it all. Things do eventually work out, and the destination** is AWESOME!!
DO:
Do sell and Re-buy: We loved this last time; we loved it even more this time. We sold more of our stuff this time and we were able to fit our whole family of five's stuff into about 600 cubic feet of space. We sold our kitchen table and chairs, dressers, bookshelves, desk, couches... When we started with Plan A, we were going to use Upack, and I figured it would cost us about $2.50 per cubic foot to transport stuff. So it just wasn't worth keeping a large item like a couch which would take up around 40 cubic feet of space and cost us $100 just to move. We weren't really attached to our furniture so it was easy to leave it all behind. We started selling early and found buyers for almost everything and gave away the last few things.
Do take the cribs, pack-n-plays, bean bag, and nursing chair. That was the only "furniture" we kept--and mostly for practical reasons, well, except for the bean bag and nursing chair. The bean bag was a wedding present from my sweetie pie so it will never be left behind, and the nursing chair... well, I've had that chair since Squeak was born (as the name implies, that's where I nurse my babies), and I've attempted to leave it behind three different times, but I can't bring myself to. I love that chair. It was a last-minute request this time to squeeze it into the tiny space we had, and D muscled it in. I'm so glad!
Do sell other replaceable stuff. I sold all my empty canning jars and lamps and extra strollers and bike trailer (but certainly not my double and triple Baby Joggers!!), extra bikes, etc.
Do organize your packing into boxes to "open right away" and "open in 6 months or later"--we marked our "open right away" boxes with red spray paint on all sides and it was easy to find the important stuff (although very time consuming to pack this way, so start early!)
Do use compression bags for clothes, blankets, coats, pillows, etc. We fit a lot more into the small space we had because of this.
Do use compression bags for clothes, blankets, coats, pillows, etc. We fit a lot more into the small space we had because of this.
Do label boxes with meticulous detail on every side and on top--this made it so easy to find specific items, like my iron that I needed urgently for the Halloween costumes.
Do buy a huge roll of plastic wrap from Costco. D's idea. He took apart the bikes and joggers and wrapped all the wheels and fragile parts. Everything transported really well and nothing was damaged. We are still using that huge roll and will probably still have it the next time we move. $17 well spent!!
Do accept help from your family and friends. People came over to help pack and clean and bring food and watch our kids--we're so grateful!! At the very end, I was a complete mess--so tired and irritable and almost not able to make simple decisions. And my sister Karen and friend Rebecca and many others just cheerfully kept things going.
Do buy a trailer and a Suburban to tow it for a screaming deal, and then sell your trailer after unpacking for a $700 profit.
Do furnish your new house for only $50!!! (Thanks to the many awesome people on Craigslist who gave us dressers, armoire, buffet cabinet, shelving unit, entertainment center, couch, bed, toddler beds and mattresses, computer cabinet, desk, basement fold-out couch... and thanks to D for wanting so much to get our own trailer for the move--we were able to pick all of those items up.) We only actually paid for our kitchen table and chairs.
Do be obsessive-compulsive about checking the "free" section of Craigslist--when the red microfiber couch popped up, D was right there ready to call, so we were the lucky winners. Same with all the other stuff.
Do buy a huge roll of plastic wrap from Costco. D's idea. He took apart the bikes and joggers and wrapped all the wheels and fragile parts. Everything transported really well and nothing was damaged. We are still using that huge roll and will probably still have it the next time we move. $17 well spent!!
Do accept help from your family and friends. People came over to help pack and clean and bring food and watch our kids--we're so grateful!! At the very end, I was a complete mess--so tired and irritable and almost not able to make simple decisions. And my sister Karen and friend Rebecca and many others just cheerfully kept things going.
Do buy a trailer and a Suburban to tow it for a screaming deal, and then sell your trailer after unpacking for a $700 profit.
Do furnish your new house for only $50!!! (Thanks to the many awesome people on Craigslist who gave us dressers, armoire, buffet cabinet, shelving unit, entertainment center, couch, bed, toddler beds and mattresses, computer cabinet, desk, basement fold-out couch... and thanks to D for wanting so much to get our own trailer for the move--we were able to pick all of those items up.) We only actually paid for our kitchen table and chairs.
Do be obsessive-compulsive about checking the "free" section of Craigslist--when the red microfiber couch popped up, D was right there ready to call, so we were the lucky winners. Same with all the other stuff.
Do show up in town and start looking for a place to live. We didn't want to do things that way (originally planned to fly D out ahead of time to find a place), but we had to, and we later realized that he couldn't have found anything quickly so the trip would have been wasted money and time. Do give yourself more than two days to find a place though--that was our mistake (also not the original plan, but as the "don'ts" will show, all these extra things kept pushing our departure date back).
If you do have to stay in a hotel for an extended period of time, do choose the Novi Courtyard Marriott. We happened to fall into that one (D did Priceline and we lucked out with them), and the manager and staff were so nice to us! D made friends with the manager who gave us an amazing deal and even let us move to a suite for the same price.
This is how I fed the kids every morning in the hotel: I buckled them into their boosters sitting on top of a sheet, brought out the milk from the cooler and oatmeal and raisins and let them eat oatmeal in a cup with a spoon. Lunch was similar, with bread and lunch meat and cheese from the cooler. Dinner, I'm embarrassed to say, was usually at a fast food drive through. Three weeks of this. We really were climbing the walls!!
Do call anyone and everyone to give you leads on a place to live. We scoured Craigslist (no luck there) and used the Mormon network (contacted probably a dozen people from three different congregations) and friends and family of friends network. Ultimately, we found our place because of the wonderful Mormon network.
Do get hooked up with fabulous realtor Michelle Weiderstedt (we found her through the family of friends network). She has been awesome!
Do be open-minded when Plan A or B or C or P or Q, etc. doesn't work out. We just had to keep trying different options, and folks, I'm here to say that eventually things will work out.
Do pack suitcases for everyone with "transition items"--about five sets of clothes and minimal toiletries for your time on the road and your first little while in the new place.
Squirt enjoys the floatie. Luckily swim stuff was on our list of "transitional items." I took the kids swimming in the hotel every day, which saved our sanity, because D was gone with the car until evening, and I had no way to get out.
Do keep things as simple as possible while everything else is in upheaval. For me, that meant unpacking almost nothing except for the Baby Jogger and the minimal amount of kitchen and bathroom stuff. Sure, I got sick of wearing those same five shirts for six months, but our kids never really felt the instability because we did the things together that we've always enjoyed--going out for daily runs, playing outside, going to the park...they didn't even miss their toys all that time.
Do say no to extra, non-essential rituals or projects. It pained me to use disposable diapers all that time, but cloth diapers were one extra thing, and I couldn't handle anything extra. I said no to canning for the year, as well as gardening, putting pictures on the walls, sewing, ironing (that's a non-essential ritual if there ever was one!!), making bread for the most part, and yard work (aside from mowing). I did start teaching HypnoBirthing classes, but that's one of those things that helps me feel balanced, and in my book, that's essential.
Do pay attention to that special feeling that tells you not to sell your extra car. We had a buyer with cash in hand (actually the same amount we had paid for it four years ago) for our Oldsmobile, and I just didn't feel good about selling it. Although it did not make sense to keep the car, we did. So we had to drive out with two cars (difficult!), but we were so grateful a few days later when the Suburban broke down en route and we had a way to get to the auto store for the parts. Then, a few days after our arrival, we were grateful again when D's residency started and the Suburban broke down again--he had a way to get to work because we had the Oldsmobile. To imagine buying a car on top of all the other stress...no, I don't want to imagine it!
The car that saved the day...more than once.
Do be nosy about foreclosure notices that come in the mail. If I hadn't been nosy and spent hours on the phone, our current situation would be a lot less pleasant.
Do get a home inspection done when you're buying. That saved us $10,000.
Do pray mightily that things will work out. We prayed, our families prayed, our friends prayed, and here we are!
DON'T:
Don't have two completely different ideas about the move. I wanted this to be an easy, convenient, organized move. I was OK with paying a little bit of money (not a lot, not like a full-service move, but I didn't want a full-blown do-it-yourself move) for that convenience. D wanted a free move. We could not mesh the two, so one of us had to give in. D got his wish. We are really happy about how things have ended up, but it was a lot of work!!
Don't make the decision to buy your trailer and Suburban so late in the game (we fell into this pitfall because we could not agree on how to do the move). Moving date was June 15. We took a 1-week trip to Phoenix the first week of June. We bought the Suburban the day before the trip. After returning, we had to find a trailer and couldn't find one that was the right size and the right price. I kid you not, I was actually out knocking doors in Provo asking people if they were selling their trailers. Pathetic? Absolutely. And desperate too! When we finally found one, we also had to get the bearings re-packed and have a trailer brake put on the Suburban. All these extra details were also extra stress when we were already on a time crunch.
Don't ignore the weight limit when packing your trailer. With our Penske truck in the previous move, weight was not an issue, just space, and we figured this would be the same. Oops! After the trailer was fully packed (and I mean it was like a tetris game inside--D is really good at fitting everything together to maximize the space), it occurred to us to weigh the trailer. It was WAY overweight. So D unpacked and repacked the trailer every day for around five days. It was like Groundhog Day. In the end, we left behind most of our food storage (ahhh, all those heavy cans of wheat and beans!) to transport here some other time.
Don't drive in two separate cars if you can avoid it. We couldn't avoid it, but it was not an easy cross-country trip. I took two kids in the car, D took one kid and the trailer. My little baby was not a happy car traveler, so we had to stop often (at least every two hours) so I could breastfeed her. The journey took us five days. And our kids don't nap in the car, so that was five days with no naps. What a party!!
Don't try to do one hotel room for an extended stay if you have kids who need to nap. We should've gotten the suite from the beginning (even if it meant paying extra!).
Don't pay rent unless you have a rental contract. We made this mistake but were very fortunate--the owners of our house lived in Washington state, and we moved in the same day the other tenants moved out (they gave us the keys), so I mailed the first month's rent with the understanding that the owners would send us a rental contract right away. A month and a half later, we still had no contract and I wasn't about to pay them more rent, so I told them that I would send it as soon as I received a rental contract from them. (This was all before we knew about the foreclosure.) They sent the contract right away, after which I paid the second month's rent. That contract saved us. It's the reason we were able to stay in the house after it was foreclosed the next month, and when we went to court for the eviction hearing, the judged ruled that we were bona fide tenants, so we weren't evicted, and it was the only reason we were able to purchase this house from the bank without having to wait for it to go on the market and fight against other bidders to purchase it (easily saving us tens of thousands of dollars).
Don't put anything in a Michigan basement unless you have a generator to operate your sump pump in case the power goes out for three days. Oops! As luck would have it, our power went out for three days the week after we moved in (OK, who runs out and buys a generator right after moving??) and we had four inches of water in the basement, even though this basement had not been flooded even once in the previous two years. Lucky us!
Don't get involved with John Yugovich if you can possibly avoid it. We were unfortunately forced into this as he was the bank's agent for this house, and even though he made the whole process a thousand times more tedious and difficult than it had to be, the bank wouldn't fire him. I tell you, I would! I wish I could have! Our angelic agent Michelle actually had to sit with him until he submitted our offers. We had to submit five different offers, and each time, I actually had to check up on him (making multiple phone calls to management at the bank) because he was giving us false information. When our closing date finally came, I couldn't believe it was really happening--it seemed as if he would do something to ruin things for us yet again.
Don't give up. We did get discouraged, but we just had to keep trying. Persistence pays off!
I'm really hoping that the next time we move, it will be less of a learning experience and more a chance to benefit from all the things we've learned!
**After publishing this novel, I thought I should clarify what I mean by "the destination:" After all was said and done, we were able to move FOR FREE from Utah to Michigan (D's work did not provide a moving allowance). We found a place to live--a cute little 3 bed/2 bath house with a great yard and garage--which is also very close to D's work and shopping and freeways and (BONUS!) includes fantastic neighbors, and we bought our house for an unbelievable price. We were able to furnish our house for next to nothing. We are safe and comfortable and enjoying a new place. We have made friends with many wonderful people who have helped us in so many ways. And we are experiencing more stability in our lives now (so much, in fact, that I have started cloth diapering again!).
Don't ignore the weight limit when packing your trailer. With our Penske truck in the previous move, weight was not an issue, just space, and we figured this would be the same. Oops! After the trailer was fully packed (and I mean it was like a tetris game inside--D is really good at fitting everything together to maximize the space), it occurred to us to weigh the trailer. It was WAY overweight. So D unpacked and repacked the trailer every day for around five days. It was like Groundhog Day. In the end, we left behind most of our food storage (ahhh, all those heavy cans of wheat and beans!) to transport here some other time.
Don't drive in two separate cars if you can avoid it. We couldn't avoid it, but it was not an easy cross-country trip. I took two kids in the car, D took one kid and the trailer. My little baby was not a happy car traveler, so we had to stop often (at least every two hours) so I could breastfeed her. The journey took us five days. And our kids don't nap in the car, so that was five days with no naps. What a party!!
Don't try to do one hotel room for an extended stay if you have kids who need to nap. We should've gotten the suite from the beginning (even if it meant paying extra!).
Don't pay rent unless you have a rental contract. We made this mistake but were very fortunate--the owners of our house lived in Washington state, and we moved in the same day the other tenants moved out (they gave us the keys), so I mailed the first month's rent with the understanding that the owners would send us a rental contract right away. A month and a half later, we still had no contract and I wasn't about to pay them more rent, so I told them that I would send it as soon as I received a rental contract from them. (This was all before we knew about the foreclosure.) They sent the contract right away, after which I paid the second month's rent. That contract saved us. It's the reason we were able to stay in the house after it was foreclosed the next month, and when we went to court for the eviction hearing, the judged ruled that we were bona fide tenants, so we weren't evicted, and it was the only reason we were able to purchase this house from the bank without having to wait for it to go on the market and fight against other bidders to purchase it (easily saving us tens of thousands of dollars).
Don't put anything in a Michigan basement unless you have a generator to operate your sump pump in case the power goes out for three days. Oops! As luck would have it, our power went out for three days the week after we moved in (OK, who runs out and buys a generator right after moving??) and we had four inches of water in the basement, even though this basement had not been flooded even once in the previous two years. Lucky us!
Don't get involved with John Yugovich if you can possibly avoid it. We were unfortunately forced into this as he was the bank's agent for this house, and even though he made the whole process a thousand times more tedious and difficult than it had to be, the bank wouldn't fire him. I tell you, I would! I wish I could have! Our angelic agent Michelle actually had to sit with him until he submitted our offers. We had to submit five different offers, and each time, I actually had to check up on him (making multiple phone calls to management at the bank) because he was giving us false information. When our closing date finally came, I couldn't believe it was really happening--it seemed as if he would do something to ruin things for us yet again.
Don't give up. We did get discouraged, but we just had to keep trying. Persistence pays off!
Oh, how I love my Baby Jogger! But not as much as my three babies!!
I'm really hoping that the next time we move, it will be less of a learning experience and more a chance to benefit from all the things we've learned!
**After publishing this novel, I thought I should clarify what I mean by "the destination:" After all was said and done, we were able to move FOR FREE from Utah to Michigan (D's work did not provide a moving allowance). We found a place to live--a cute little 3 bed/2 bath house with a great yard and garage--which is also very close to D's work and shopping and freeways and (BONUS!) includes fantastic neighbors, and we bought our house for an unbelievable price. We were able to furnish our house for next to nothing. We are safe and comfortable and enjoying a new place. We have made friends with many wonderful people who have helped us in so many ways. And we are experiencing more stability in our lives now (so much, in fact, that I have started cloth diapering again!).
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Lydia
Phew! Life can be exciting sometimes!! There's something about 9 cases of pink eye, 3 cases of stomach flu, 9 ear infections, and about two dozen coughs/colds all in our little happy family since October that make this mama wish for a different kind of excitement. I'm still working on my moving post, but it's a long one, and my inspiration is lacking. So here's a little bit about someone inspiring...
D and I signed up to help clean the Detroit LDS temple a few months back. We were happy to be helping to beautify such a peaceful place. The catch: no kids allowed of course. I tried asking around to see if I could trade kids with another family doing the same thing. Unfortunately, this was impossible because all three of our munchkins were sick, and who wants to invite sick kids over to play with your healthy kids? And then smiling, beautiful Lydia approached me at church, "I'll watch your kids on Tuesday!" I replied, "Thanks so much, but they're all sick. I can't do that to you." "Oh, I love sick kids!" she said. And she meant it. "Oh, but my baby is especially fussy. She's really clingy anyway, but it's even worse since she's not feeling well." Lydia said, "Fussy babies are my specialty! I love them!" She was not kidding. So it was arranged--we would drive over to Lydia's place, drop off our kids, and spend a few hours cleaning the temple. I was so grateful for her kindness, and I felt like I was leaving my precious babies in good hands.
When we returned to Lydia's after our wonderful time at the temple, something dawned on me, and I've been thinking about it ever since that day. Lydia is exactly the type of mom I saw myself being before I became a mother. Her five kids were lounging all over the family room when we walked in. They were talking and laughing and playing. A bowl of mostly-consumed popcorn had spilled on the floor. The dog was lying in it. Games and toys were strewn all over the place. Her five-year-old walked on the furniture. Lydia was in the kitchen making gingerbread sleighs talking to her teenage daughters, laughing and connecting. Everyone was comfortable, relaxed, and happy. Nobody was bothered by the mess. Our kids were in heaven (even my fussy baby!). D and I stayed for a long time. I felt so comfortable, I didn't want to leave.
I'm a fun mom, I know I am. I have a hard time disciplining because I'd rather just enjoy my kids. I don't like to be rigid about rules and schedules. I love creativity and chaos. But I get crabby when my house is messy or my kids ignore my requests. My personality is so much like Lydia's, but my reality is that I get too caught up in the details. Why the disconnect? Does anyone at Lydia's care that the baseboards haven't been cleaned or that the beds go unmade? All of us there felt at home. Actually the same feeling D and I felt in the sparkly clean temple. I must confess that I feel bored with myself when I get so entrenched in the details that I forget the fun. Why shouldn't I just leave a mess and run off to the Children's museum or the library or a friend's house with the kids? Straightening up all the time is so tedious! [BTW this has only gotten worse with everyone being sick over and over and not being able to go anywhere...we're relegated to sitting around the house, and if we're here, we might as well clean!] Oh, but I love having a clean house!! And I love having fun!!! How can I have it all?? It's time for me to learn more about this amazing Lydia and how she arrived at her comfortable and joyful destination.
D and I signed up to help clean the Detroit LDS temple a few months back. We were happy to be helping to beautify such a peaceful place. The catch: no kids allowed of course. I tried asking around to see if I could trade kids with another family doing the same thing. Unfortunately, this was impossible because all three of our munchkins were sick, and who wants to invite sick kids over to play with your healthy kids? And then smiling, beautiful Lydia approached me at church, "I'll watch your kids on Tuesday!" I replied, "Thanks so much, but they're all sick. I can't do that to you." "Oh, I love sick kids!" she said. And she meant it. "Oh, but my baby is especially fussy. She's really clingy anyway, but it's even worse since she's not feeling well." Lydia said, "Fussy babies are my specialty! I love them!" She was not kidding. So it was arranged--we would drive over to Lydia's place, drop off our kids, and spend a few hours cleaning the temple. I was so grateful for her kindness, and I felt like I was leaving my precious babies in good hands.
When we returned to Lydia's after our wonderful time at the temple, something dawned on me, and I've been thinking about it ever since that day. Lydia is exactly the type of mom I saw myself being before I became a mother. Her five kids were lounging all over the family room when we walked in. They were talking and laughing and playing. A bowl of mostly-consumed popcorn had spilled on the floor. The dog was lying in it. Games and toys were strewn all over the place. Her five-year-old walked on the furniture. Lydia was in the kitchen making gingerbread sleighs talking to her teenage daughters, laughing and connecting. Everyone was comfortable, relaxed, and happy. Nobody was bothered by the mess. Our kids were in heaven (even my fussy baby!). D and I stayed for a long time. I felt so comfortable, I didn't want to leave.
I'm a fun mom, I know I am. I have a hard time disciplining because I'd rather just enjoy my kids. I don't like to be rigid about rules and schedules. I love creativity and chaos. But I get crabby when my house is messy or my kids ignore my requests. My personality is so much like Lydia's, but my reality is that I get too caught up in the details. Why the disconnect? Does anyone at Lydia's care that the baseboards haven't been cleaned or that the beds go unmade? All of us there felt at home. Actually the same feeling D and I felt in the sparkly clean temple. I must confess that I feel bored with myself when I get so entrenched in the details that I forget the fun. Why shouldn't I just leave a mess and run off to the Children's museum or the library or a friend's house with the kids? Straightening up all the time is so tedious! [BTW this has only gotten worse with everyone being sick over and over and not being able to go anywhere...we're relegated to sitting around the house, and if we're here, we might as well clean!] Oh, but I love having a clean house!! And I love having fun!!! How can I have it all?? It's time for me to learn more about this amazing Lydia and how she arrived at her comfortable and joyful destination.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Not a happy man
He pulled up in his shiny black sports car. Strode into the building and took a seat in the small, crowded room. He was wearing five hundred dollar shoes. Little voices chattered as his eyes met ours. He was not smiling. A scowl on his face, his voice abrasive, he said the obligatory hello. Then John hid behind his cup of coffee.
We were soon ushered to another room where we exchanged a few words and signed a few documents. John's countenance did not change. His words were clipped, his eyes dull, his face sullen and dark. This was just one on a list of deals for him today. We were well aware that he works long and hard at being difficult--we've seen it first hand. After the business was done, he swaggered away without a word.
"What an unpleasant person!" said D as we sat in the car afterward. "Do you think he tries to make things difficult for all the people in our situation?" I responded, "He is not a happy man. Unhappy people don't try to be kind or considerate." That man had everything, yet he had nothing. I looked down at my thrift store shoes and garage sale coat. I listened to the little chattering voices coming from the back seat, sitting in car seats donated to us by generous friends and strangers. I felt rich. I felt blessed. I felt happy. I looked at D and said, "Thank you for being a happy man!" We smiled. We know that happiness isn't something that can be purchased or sold.
We are grateful that our days of interacting with that unhappy man are over!
We were soon ushered to another room where we exchanged a few words and signed a few documents. John's countenance did not change. His words were clipped, his eyes dull, his face sullen and dark. This was just one on a list of deals for him today. We were well aware that he works long and hard at being difficult--we've seen it first hand. After the business was done, he swaggered away without a word.
"What an unpleasant person!" said D as we sat in the car afterward. "Do you think he tries to make things difficult for all the people in our situation?" I responded, "He is not a happy man. Unhappy people don't try to be kind or considerate." That man had everything, yet he had nothing. I looked down at my thrift store shoes and garage sale coat. I listened to the little chattering voices coming from the back seat, sitting in car seats donated to us by generous friends and strangers. I felt rich. I felt blessed. I felt happy. I looked at D and said, "Thank you for being a happy man!" We smiled. We know that happiness isn't something that can be purchased or sold.
We are grateful that our days of interacting with that unhappy man are over!
Monday, January 10, 2011
You know you're not getting enough sleep when...
I awoke around 3 a.m. because my cute little baby was crying. I went to her pack-n-play and picked her up. Carried her to bed with me to feed her because, my friends, there is no way I'm sitting up to breastfeed at that hour. I snuggled up next to her and she started feeding. I woke up again--she was still crying. D said, "Do you want me to go get her?" I thought, "What's he talking about? She's right here..." Then I realized that I had only dreamed about bringing her to bed. And such a vivid dream, too!
D&T Challenge: How did we do?
I am grateful for our December Challenge. It made me think more and do more. "A little more of this, a little less of this."
Our team lost 12 pounds--that's 10 for D and 2 for T! I was SO PLEASED to finally say goodbye to those last two very stubborn pregnancy pounds. Whoopee!
Our team lost 12 pounds--that's 10 for D and 2 for T! I was SO PLEASED to finally say goodbye to those last two very stubborn pregnancy pounds. Whoopee!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tera's Tri
SWIM, BIKE, RUN--I love it!!Back in the day, my annual fitness activities included a marathon, a triathlon (olympic distance), half a dozen 5K's, and a few 10K's and half marathons, plus all the training. Easily 10-20 hours per week of training and racing every year for about five years. That was then.
This is now. 2010, at the beginning of the year, I decided on my fitness goal for the year: An olympic distance triathlon. That's it. Doesn't sound like a big thing when you consider what I did "back then" but folks, I was barely in maintenance mode when I set that goal. My dear friend Sharon ran my birthday 10K with me in February (I wasn't ready for another Birthday Half Marathon yet). I was doing itty bitty runs and trudging along through the winter months, but I had not been on the bike for about two years. Nor had I been swimming.
D fixed up my bike and I finally started going on rides--it felt spectacular! I kept thinking, "Why have I stayed away so long??" (Oh, yeah, I can't just jump on my road bike and leave my three kids to watch themselves...Details!). I needed to choose a race. I decided it had to be before D started residency because of that small detail about my kids not being able to watch themselves. I went back and forth between one in Daybreak (45 minutes away from our house) and one in Hyrum (30 minutes from D's parent's house).
Ugh, the agony of trying to juggle in my mind the details of traveling to and from the race with all my gear, managing sleeping arrangements (for me and my crew), finding someone to take care of my kids, and, of course, my cute little baby who I was still exclusively breastfeeding and who could not be separated from her Mami for more than an hour or two without some serious drama. Plus, those races are so expensive! And they start so early!!
And then I learned about Tera's Tri--the exclusive race that started right at my front door on the date and time I chose. Transition area at my house. Being able to use my own bathroom. What a dream race! I chose June 1, my sister's birthday. And I was off!
1 mile swim
25 mile bike
10K run
Jonny did part of the swim with me, I was on my own for the bike, and D did the run with me (while wonderful Karen watched our munchkins). Ah, the glory! To everyone's amazement, I ended up taking FIRST PLACE!! Melissa and Jonny met us at the end. What a race!
That's me holding my "Teraflex" keychain, ha ha.
I have also purchased myself some matching running clothes since Tera's Tri. Yay, me!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Good News Minute!
I've had some great moments this week!
- Squeak and Pip learned all the words to "Jesus en Pesebre" (that's my favorite Christmas hymn--"Away in a Manger")
- Squeak and Pip have really been enjoying preparing and wrapping gifts for others (we're trying to help the kids focus on others instead of themselves at Christmas)
- Squeak threw up four times on Thursday. All the barf made it into the bucket except for the first batch, which landed neatly in two piles on the side of her bed. Vomit clean-up is getting easier all the time!
- I went for a run on the ice/snow in my awesome winterized running shoes (made for me by my sweetie pie) and felt GREAT!
- Found a sewing machine and a Christmas tree in somebody's trash pile--saved them from the landfill!
- I now feel better prepared for the Michigan winter after acquiring a wonderful, warm, cozy, new-to-me knee-length down coat. Delicious!
- When somebody asks either Squeak or Pip if they're excited about Santa, they just get a blank look on their faces. We downplay Santa at our house--he brings the gifts and treats for the stockings, but all the other gifts are from family/friends.
- Squirt's first word after "mama" and "dada"--"uva"--she's crazy about them!
- I've started the P90X program--LOVE it!!!
- The bank FINALLY (after our fourth try) accepted our offer on this house!!!!!! I see some stability in our future!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Volume
After much observation and pontification, I've come to the following conclusion:
LOUD MOM = LOUD KIDS
Along with that, of course is:
quiet mom = quiet kids
I earned the nickname "Volume" during my freshman year of college because I "just can't keep it down." My kids have the same ability. (Let's not call it a "disability!")
This past week has been interesting. D worked graves all week, so he'd roll in between 7:30 and 8:30 a.m. and hit the hay. Right about the time our little crew wakes up. Our house is very small--864 square feet, plus a basement. There is no way to "go to the other side of the house" to keep the noise from traveling. In a space this size, you can hear everything. When D worked graves earlier in the year, I'd take the kids running with me and then back outside to play and eat, but now that the weather has turned cold, that isn't really an option. I've mostly tried to find things to do elsewhere, like the library or a friend's house or even errands. But sometimes we can't just get right up and into the car, which is where the volume becomes a problem. Volume around here is always either full-blast or turned off. Turned off only happens when the kids are asleep. I tell them dozens and hundreds of times to whisper "porque Dada esta dormido" but my requests fall on deaf ears. And I find that in order for myself to be heard, I have to raise my own volume (and we all know that I'm capable!)--I have to yell at my kids to keep them from yelling! It just ain't right!
So I was thinking of all the moms I know and thinking of their kids (this is when I was reaching the conclusion above) and I thought that there must be an exception. Who do I know who's an exception?? I thought and thought and thought...and then I realized--my mother is the exception! My mom is anything but loud. She is so polite, so proper, so reserved, so demure. And her eight kids? ALL LOUD!! I mean, there are those who are less loud, but "less loud" is still "loud." Wow, what an experience it must have been for her to raise us! Lucky gal!
LOUD MOM = LOUD KIDS
Along with that, of course is:
quiet mom = quiet kids
I earned the nickname "Volume" during my freshman year of college because I "just can't keep it down." My kids have the same ability. (Let's not call it a "disability!")
This past week has been interesting. D worked graves all week, so he'd roll in between 7:30 and 8:30 a.m. and hit the hay. Right about the time our little crew wakes up. Our house is very small--864 square feet, plus a basement. There is no way to "go to the other side of the house" to keep the noise from traveling. In a space this size, you can hear everything. When D worked graves earlier in the year, I'd take the kids running with me and then back outside to play and eat, but now that the weather has turned cold, that isn't really an option. I've mostly tried to find things to do elsewhere, like the library or a friend's house or even errands. But sometimes we can't just get right up and into the car, which is where the volume becomes a problem. Volume around here is always either full-blast or turned off. Turned off only happens when the kids are asleep. I tell them dozens and hundreds of times to whisper "porque Dada esta dormido" but my requests fall on deaf ears. And I find that in order for myself to be heard, I have to raise my own volume (and we all know that I'm capable!)--I have to yell at my kids to keep them from yelling! It just ain't right!
So I was thinking of all the moms I know and thinking of their kids (this is when I was reaching the conclusion above) and I thought that there must be an exception. Who do I know who's an exception?? I thought and thought and thought...and then I realized--my mother is the exception! My mom is anything but loud. She is so polite, so proper, so reserved, so demure. And her eight kids? ALL LOUD!! I mean, there are those who are less loud, but "less loud" is still "loud." Wow, what an experience it must have been for her to raise us! Lucky gal!
Here's my mom with four of her loud kids, three loud grandchildren, and one not-so-loud granddaughter (hey, another exception!?)
My mom and dad supporting their loud kids at the Spudman 2006
Six of the eight of us at the Spudman 2007. I couldn't find any photos with all eight of us.
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