I started typing this post over two months ago and started it in my head months before that. I need to move on to more projects! But I wanted to get it all down so I'll remember for next time.
Now that we've purchased our house, I feel like our move is complete (almost EIGHT MONTHS after it began!) so now I'm ready to write the "Do's and Don't's" of this move. Whew, all the new found knowledge! The knowledge I acquired and shared for
my first moving post was for a move that was more like a Moving 101 course, but I really feel like the this last move was more of a graduate level course, so here we go, Moving 612.
We don't know who made us this sign for our trailer, but I loved it!
I have asked myself many times if I am the victim of circumstance or am I really the reason that things are sometimes so hard , i.e. have I been
placed on this difficult path and I'm just doing the best I can, or have I
chosen the longest, most difficult road to get to my destination? Well, whatever the answer, I've learned that the human spirit, at least
this human spirit, is resilient.
If I were watching the tale of this move unfold, it would seem a comedy. Looking back, it is almost unbelievable how everything played out--if I had not lived it, I would have a hard time believing it. We loaded everything in a trailer and drove out in two cars, packed to the gills, and arrived three days before D was supposed to begin residency. No place to live, didn't know a soul in town, and we just kind of hoped that things would go smoothly and that we'd get a short-term lease somewhere, unpack the basics, and buy a house in the next six months and really settle down. We were certain that with the depressed economy in Detroit, it would be easy to find a suitable place to rest our weary selves for a bit. Well, not only was it impossible to find a rental contract for under a year, but rental prices were quite high--$1200 or more for a 3 bed/2 bath house with a yard. This was despite the fact that real estate prices for purchasing the same size house were around $100,000. Nothing made sense, and it seemed that our path was blocked at every turn.
We started out with Plan A and ended up at Plan BB. That's 28 different plans. Good thing that we are flexible and spontaneous people! I have to be honest and say that the adventure and spontaneity of those many months were a challenge. It was one crisis after another, and I constantly felt that everything was completely beyond my control. What I'm saying at the end of the day, though, is that we have been blessed and cared for through it all. Things do eventually work out, and the destination** is AWESOME!!
My favorite peeps and all of our stuff
DO:
Do sell and Re-buy: We loved this last time; we loved it even more this time. We sold more of our stuff this time and we were able to fit our whole family of five's stuff into about 600 cubic feet of space. We sold our kitchen table and chairs, dressers, bookshelves, desk, couches... When we started with Plan A, we were going to use Upack, and I figured it would cost us about $2.50 per cubic foot to transport stuff. So it just wasn't worth keeping a large item like a couch which would take up around 40 cubic feet of space and cost us $100 just to move. We weren't really attached to our furniture so it was easy to leave it all behind. We started selling early and found buyers for almost everything and gave away the last few things.
Do take the cribs, pack-n-plays, bean bag, and nursing chair. That was the only "furniture" we kept--and mostly for practical reasons, well, except for the bean bag and nursing chair. The bean bag was a wedding present from my sweetie pie so it will never be left behind, and the nursing chair... well, I've had that chair since Squeak was born (as the name implies, that's where I nurse my babies), and I've attempted to leave it behind three different times, but I can't bring myself to. I love that chair. It was a last-minute request this time to squeeze it into the tiny space we had, and D muscled it in. I'm so glad!
Do sell other replaceable stuff. I sold all my empty canning jars and lamps and extra strollers and bike trailer (but certainly not my double and triple Baby Joggers!!), extra bikes, etc.
Do organize your packing into boxes to "open right away" and "open in 6 months or later"--we marked our "open right away" boxes with red spray paint on all sides and it was easy to find the important stuff (although very time consuming to pack this way, so start early!)
Do use compression bags for clothes, blankets, coats, pillows, etc. We fit a lot more into the small space we had because of this.
Do label boxes with meticulous detail on every side and on top--this made it so easy to find specific items, like my iron that I needed urgently for the Halloween costumes.
Do buy a huge roll of plastic wrap from Costco. D's idea. He took apart the bikes and joggers and wrapped all the wheels and fragile parts. Everything transported really well and nothing was damaged. We are still using that huge roll and will probably still have it the next time we move. $17 well spent!!
Do accept help from your family and friends. People came over to help pack and clean and bring food and watch our kids--we're so grateful!! At the very end, I was a complete mess--so tired and irritable and almost not able to make simple decisions. And my sister Karen and friend Rebecca and many others just cheerfully kept things going.
Do buy a trailer and a Suburban to tow it for a screaming deal, and then sell your trailer after unpacking for a $700 profit.
Do furnish your new house for only $50!!! (Thanks to the many awesome people on Craigslist who gave us dressers, armoire, buffet cabinet, shelving unit, entertainment center, couch, bed, toddler beds and mattresses, computer cabinet, desk, basement fold-out couch... and thanks to D for wanting so much to get our own trailer for the move--we were able to pick all of those items up.) We only actually paid for our kitchen table and chairs.
Do be obsessive-compulsive about checking the "free" section of Craigslist--when the red microfiber couch popped up, D was right there ready to call, so we were the lucky winners. Same with all the other stuff.
Do show up in town and start looking for a place to live. We didn't want to do things that way (originally planned to fly D out ahead of time to find a place), but we had to, and we later realized that he couldn't have found anything quickly so the trip would have been wasted money and time. Do give yourself more than two days to find a place though--that was our mistake (also not the original plan, but as the "don'ts" will show, all these extra things kept pushing our departure date back).
If you do have to stay in a hotel for an extended period of time,
do choose the Novi Courtyard Marriott. We happened to fall into that one (D did Priceline and we lucked out with them), and the manager and staff were so nice to us! D made friends with the manager who gave us an amazing deal and even let us move to a suite for the same price.
This is how I fed the kids every morning in the hotel: I buckled them into their boosters sitting on top of a sheet, brought out the milk from the cooler and oatmeal and raisins and let them eat oatmeal in a cup with a spoon. Lunch was similar, with bread and lunch meat and cheese from the cooler. Dinner, I'm embarrassed to say, was usually at a fast food drive through. Three weeks of this. We really were climbing the walls!!
Do call anyone and everyone to give you leads on a place to live. We scoured Craigslist (no luck there) and used the Mormon network (contacted probably a dozen people from three different congregations) and friends and family of friends network. Ultimately, we found our place because of the wonderful Mormon network.
Do get hooked up with fabulous realtor Michelle Weiderstedt (we found her through the family of friends network). She has been awesome!
Do be open-minded when Plan A or B or C or P or Q, etc. doesn't work out. We just had to keep trying different options, and folks, I'm here to say that eventually things will work out.
Do pack suitcases for everyone with "transition items"--about five sets of clothes and minimal toiletries for your time on the road and your first little while in the new place.
Squirt enjoys the floatie. Luckily swim stuff was on our list of "transitional items." I took the kids swimming in the hotel every day, which saved our sanity, because D was gone with the car until evening, and I had no way to get out.
Do keep things as simple as possible while everything else is in upheaval. For me, that meant unpacking almost nothing except for the Baby Jogger and the minimal amount of kitchen and bathroom stuff. Sure, I got sick of wearing those same five shirts for six months, but our kids never really felt the instability because we did the things together that we've always enjoyed--going out for daily runs, playing outside, going to the park...they didn't even miss their toys all that time.
Do say no to extra, non-essential rituals or projects. It pained me to use disposable diapers all that time, but cloth diapers were one extra thing, and I couldn't handle anything extra. I said no to canning for the year, as well as gardening, putting pictures on the walls, sewing, ironing (that's a non-essential ritual if there ever was one!!), making bread for the most part, and yard work (aside from mowing). I did start teaching HypnoBirthing classes, but that's one of those things that helps me feel balanced, and in my book, that's essential.
Do pay attention to that special feeling that tells you not to sell your extra car. We had a buyer with cash in hand (actually the same amount we had paid for it four years ago) for our Oldsmobile, and I just didn't feel good about selling it. Although it did not make sense to keep the car, we did. So we had to drive out with two cars (difficult!), but we were so grateful a few days later when the Suburban broke down en route and we had a way to get to the auto store for the parts. Then, a few days after our arrival, we were grateful again when D's residency started and the Suburban broke down again--he had a way to get to work because we had the Oldsmobile. To imagine buying a car on top of all the other stress...no, I don't want to imagine it!
The car that saved the day...more than once.
Do be nosy about foreclosure notices that come in the mail. If I hadn't been nosy and spent hours on the phone, our current situation would be a lot less pleasant.
Do get a home inspection done when you're buying. That saved us $10,000.
Do pray mightily that things will work out. We prayed, our families prayed, our friends prayed, and here we are!
DON'T:
Don't have two completely different ideas about the move. I wanted this to be an easy, convenient, organized move. I was OK with paying a little bit of money (not a lot, not like a full-service move, but I didn't want a full-blown do-it-yourself move) for that convenience. D wanted a free move. We could not mesh the two, so one of us had to give in. D got his wish. We are really happy about how things have ended up, but it was a lot of work!!
Don't make the decision to buy your trailer and Suburban so late in the game (we fell into this pitfall because we could not agree on how to do the move). Moving date was June 15. We took a 1-week trip to Phoenix the first week of June. We bought the Suburban the day before the trip. After returning, we had to find a trailer and couldn't find one that was the right size and the right price. I kid you not, I was actually out knocking doors in Provo asking people if they were selling their trailers. Pathetic? Absolutely. And desperate too! When we finally found one, we also had to get the bearings re-packed and have a trailer brake put on the Suburban. All these extra details were also extra stress when we were already on a time crunch.
Don't ignore the weight limit when packing your trailer. With our Penske truck in the previous move, weight was not an issue, just space, and we figured this would be the same. Oops! After the trailer was fully packed (and I mean it was like a tetris game inside--D is really good at fitting everything together to maximize the space), it occurred to us to weigh the trailer. It was WAY overweight. So D unpacked and repacked the trailer every day for around five days. It was like Groundhog Day. In the end, we left behind most of our food storage (ahhh, all those heavy cans of wheat and beans!) to transport here some other time.
Don't drive in two separate cars if you can avoid it. We couldn't avoid it, but it was not an easy cross-country trip. I took two kids in the car, D took one kid and the trailer. My little baby was not a happy car traveler, so we had to stop often (at least every two hours) so I could breastfeed her. The journey took us five days. And our kids don't nap in the car, so that was five days with no naps. What a party!!
Don't try to do one hotel room for an extended stay if you have kids who need to nap. We should've gotten the suite from the beginning (even if it meant paying extra!).
Don't pay rent unless you have a rental contract. We made this mistake but were very fortunate--the owners of our house lived in Washington state, and we moved in the same day the other tenants moved out (they gave us the keys), so I mailed the first month's rent with the understanding that the owners would send us a rental contract right away. A month and a half later, we still had no contract and I wasn't about to pay them more rent, so I told them that I would send it as soon as I received a rental contract from them. (This was all before we knew about the foreclosure.) They sent the contract right away, after which I paid the second month's rent. That contract saved us. It's the reason we were able to stay in the house after it was foreclosed the next month, and when we went to court for the eviction hearing, the judged ruled that we were bona fide tenants, so we weren't evicted, and it was the only reason we were able to purchase this house from the bank without having to wait for it to go on the market and fight against other bidders to purchase it (easily saving us tens of thousands of dollars).
Don't put anything in a Michigan basement unless you have a generator to operate your sump pump in case the power goes out for three days. Oops! As luck would have it, our power went out for three days the week after we moved in (OK, who runs out and buys a generator right after moving??) and we had four inches of water in the basement, even though this basement had not been flooded even once in the previous two years. Lucky us!
Don't get involved with John Yugovich if you can possibly avoid it. We were unfortunately forced into this as he was the bank's agent for this house, and even though he made the whole process a thousand times more tedious and difficult than it had to be, the bank wouldn't fire him. I tell you, I would! I wish I could have! Our angelic agent Michelle actually had to sit with him until he submitted our offers. We had to submit five different offers, and each time, I actually had to check up on him (making multiple phone calls to management at the bank) because he was giving us false information. When our closing date finally came, I couldn't believe it was really happening--it seemed as if he would do something to ruin things for us yet again.
Don't give up. We did get discouraged, but we just had to keep trying. Persistence pays off!
Oh, how I love my Baby Jogger! But not as much as my three babies!!
I'm really hoping that the next time we move, it will be less of a learning experience and more a chance to benefit from all the things we've learned!
**After publishing this novel, I thought I should clarify what I mean by "the destination:" After all was said and done, we were able to move FOR FREE from Utah to Michigan (D's work did not provide a moving allowance). We found a place to live--a cute little 3 bed/2 bath house with a great yard and garage--which is also very close to D's work and shopping and freeways and (BONUS!) includes fantastic neighbors, and we bought our house for an unbelievable price. We were able to furnish our house for next to nothing. We are safe and comfortable and enjoying a new place. We have made friends with many wonderful people who have helped us in so many ways. And we are experiencing more stability in our lives now (so much, in fact, that I have started cloth diapering again!).
